The Tired Tooth Fairy

I awoke in the middle of the night remembering a tiny tooth. This particular tooth belonged to a sweet girl of mine. The tooth had been tucked under her pillow, the girl tucked under her blanket, and the night awaited the hasty exchange of the canine for some cash. Blurry eyed and still in a sleepy stupor, I rummaged through the junk drawer looking for a couple dollar bills, but came up empty. I was about to give up when a five caught my eye. Inflation, I thought, as I tip-toed in true tooth-fairy fashion to leave the Lincoln for my little girl. Pleased with my performance, I tumbled back into bed, wishing for a sprinkle of fairy dust to help me catch a few more winks of sleep.

The next morning at the breakfast table, my daughter side-eyed me as she recounted that to her surprise the tooth fairy came to visit her and left her five whole dollars…of money…from Australia!

So close…

My daughter and I had a good laugh about it. She knows what’s up. Not too different from a dangling tooth waiting to break free, she teeters between the innocence of childhood and the pull to the next stage. Once upon a time, her toddler teeth twinkled at me as if I had some sparkly supernatural quality to gaze upon. We were each other’s sunshine. And while my latest tooth fairy fail was a silly and mild offense, it in many ways represents a sort of coming down of the fourth wall in this parenting act, exposing the truth to my daughter… I’m just a tired tooth-fairy, who needs to thicken my glasses prescription and thin out my junk drawer!

We long for our mothering to flow naturally, for it to feel fulfilling and resolved. Yet so much of “momming” is feeling like you don’t have the right kind of currency to carry on. We bump up against our limits of energy and patience. We disappoint our people with our saying no and laying low, because we just cannot do it all. And the things we try to do often miss the mark.

The older our kids get, the more they see this reality. It’s difficult making space for our children to view us differently. My teen and tweens sense more of my mix-up and meltdown moments than ever before. But deep down I know they don’t need a magical fairy mother polished to perfection. What my children need is a real and repentant parent who radiates Jesus.

Afterall, it’s the holiness of God that is something to behold. It’s the light of his love that shines down bright beams of hope into every dark night. It’s the gleams of his grace that envelop the tired tooth fairy mommas and give them what they need to press on. Because “Jesus is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.” (Hebrews 1:3) He is the fire that led the children of Israel through the wilderness, and the Almighty and powerful light of life upon which we fix our gaze to guide us today.

The best gift we can ever give our kids is for them to see that God shines brighter than anything else in our lives. This means that over and over again as mothers we must lay down the desire to seek the approval of our children. Instead, we must pick up our cross and follow Him. This might mean being the uncool mom to draw a boundary about the purchase, the trip, the party, the tournament team, the outfit choice, the technology…fill in the blank. And this will mean making decisions in our households not with the end goal to see your child sparkle and not so that you shine as a parent, but so that God would be magnified in all of his bright and beautiful glory.

Our children who make a way for all of their permanent teeth to fit in their mouth (most likely costing the tooth fairy a pretty penny at the ortho), will in time make a way to hold all of the imperfections of their mother in their heart. But this makes so much more sense with Jesus. Our children will understand their own need for the gospel when they see that their parents need that good news as well.

Trying as a mother to be a faultless parent will only teach our children to reach for perfection.

But praying as a mother to be a forgiven child of God will teach our children to reach for Jesus.

To all of my fellow tired tooth fairy friends out there who are exhausted by all of the demands of motherhood, may you find your rest in Him. He has chosen to be at work through you—even and especially sometimes through your very “human” moments. In your weakness, you can cling to his strength. Your child who needs you needs to see you needing Jesus. Even in humbling and hard circumstances, our human limits can highlight the boundless love of Christ to our kids.

And so let that be our Mother’s Day prayer: That God would capture the hearts of the children we love, even if it means through our own cracks and faults. That HIS smile would make their lives shine bright. That while we make space for our children to grow big, God would carve space for Himself to grow big in their lives. That we would be willing to trade in our desires to get it right so that the righteousness of Christ would reign down in the lives of our sons and daughters and transform them through his goodness and grace.

The Lord Bless You and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.. Numbers 6:24-27

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